Does Sleep Training Actually Work? Here's What I Use and Why

Sleep training is one of those topics that can feel overwhelming before you've even started. There are dozens of methods out there, strong opinions on all sides, and a lot of conflicting information about what works and what doesn't. So I want to be straightforward about the approach I take, why I've chosen it, and what you can realistically expect.

My Approach: Fast, Effective, and Research-Backed

Before diving into which method is right for your baby, it's worth flagging that sleep training works best if the groundwork has been done first. I cover exactly why in Why You Must Calculate Sleep Need Before Sleep Training.

I only work with methods that are supported by research and that I know from experience actually deliver results. I don't offer no-cry approaches, not because I'm indifferent to how parents feel about their baby crying, but because babies are incredibly adaptable and can make changes far more quickly than most parents expect. My goal is to get families sleeping better as fast as possible, and the methods I use are the ones that actually deliver that.

The two methods I work with are the gradual retreat method and the timed return approach. Both are well-evidenced and both work; the right choice depends on your baby's age and, to some extent, your own temperament as a parent.

The Timed Return Approach

With the timed return approach, once your baby is placed in their cot wide awake, you leave the room and return at set intervals to offer brief, calm reassurance before leaving again. The intervals are structured and consistent, and your baby learns over a short period of time that you are still there, that they are safe, and that they are capable of getting themselves entirely to sleep independently.

The research backs this up too. A 2023 study by Kahn, Barnett and Gradisar, looking at over 2,000 families, found it produced the fastest improvements in sleep, and importantly, no negative impact on the bond between parent and child, something I know is at the front of every parent's mind before they begin.

I generally recommend the timed return approach for babies under 15 months.

The Gradual Retreat Method

With the gradual retreat method, you begin by staying close to your baby as they fall asleep and very gradually reduce your physical presence over a series of nights, moving progressively further from the cot until you are outside the room entirely. It is a gentler paced method in terms of parental presence, though it does take longer to complete.

I generally recommend the gradual retreat method for babies and toddlers over 15 months.

What to Expect

I always give parents the option of either method and, where they'd like my steer, I'll share my recommendation based on their child's age and their own readiness for the process. What both methods have in common is that they work, and they work quickly when the groundwork has been done properly.

Night one of sleep training is typically the hardest. By night three, provided you have stayed consistent and followed the plan, the improvements are usually significant. Many of my clients find their baby is sleeping through the night by this point.

Crying is to be expected, and I always talk to parents about this on our free 15-minute introductory call. It's a conversation I take seriously, because how you feel about your baby crying matters, and I want to make sure you're emotionally ready before we begin. Most parents find real comfort in knowing that any crying is short-lived and that the research is clear: there are no negative outcomes for babies or for the parent-infant bond when sleep training is implemented correctly.

I see sleep training as teaching your child an important life skill, much like learning to eat solids or potty training. Both of those milestones can be met with resistance at the time, but you don't see many five-year-olds still in nappies. The short-term difficulty is worth the long-term result.

For parents who feel strongly that neither of these methods is right for their family, I respect that completely. Sleep training isn't for everyone, and I would never push a family into an approach they aren't comfortable with.

Support Throughout the Process

All of my packages include two weeks of WhatsApp support, so I'm on hand throughout the implementation period to answer questions, troubleshoot, and keep you on track. You won't be handed a plan and left to get on with it alone.

If you'd like to find out more about what working with me actually looks like, from your first call through to your personalised sleep plan, you can read more here: What It's Actually Like to Work With Me. And if you're ready to take the first step, you're welcome to book a free 15-minute introductory call.